1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:03,307 . 2 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:05,614 - All right, all right, everyone start to shut up. 3 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,137 I have some news today 4 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,183 that is gonna make you guys so happy. 5 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,011 - You're gonna teach us biology? 6 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,447 - [laughs] 7 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,144 Nice, Sarika. No, guys, be serious. Come on. 8 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,928 Teach you biology. 9 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:18,148 I was just at the bagel shop, and I ran into my ex, Meredith. 10 00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,541 - You seem to run into her a lot. 11 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,369 It's kind of bordering on stalking. 12 00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,284 - Marcus, you'd be lucky to have someone stalking you. 13 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,113 - Oh, trust me. Being stalked is no picnic. 14 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,331 - I'm not stalking you. 15 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,333 We have the same class schedule. 16 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:31,857 - Interesting. Yeah, well, anyway, 17 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,816 Meredith mentioned that she and her boyfriend 18 00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,687 are going through a bit of a rough patch. 19 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,950 So I said, "Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear that. 20 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,561 Let me know if I can help." 21 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:42,303 So basically, I'll be a shoulder to cry on for a while 22 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:45,871 and then transition to full-on boning. 23 00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:46,959 Huh. 24 00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:48,526 [laughs] 25 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,181 Yeah, well, there should have been applause there. 26 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:55,055 Okay, guys, let's do a Miles update, shall we? 27 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,970 No, tell me, what is the first thing that comes up 28 00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,886 when you Google "Miles Leonard"? 29 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,453 - "Miles Leonard Stanford." 30 00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,151 "Miles Leonard handsome genius." 31 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,717 Miles Leonard shirtless." 32 00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:07,067 - Okay, all right, thank you, Heather. 33 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,198 - "Miles Leonard great penis." 34 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,721 - Got it. Got it. 35 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,114 We--we all got it. 36 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,898 Okay, everybody take out your phones. 37 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,640 I want you to Google "Miles Leonard pedophile," 38 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,599 and just keep typing that in until it's 39 00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,296 the first result that comes up. 40 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,864 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be chatting 41 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,909 with my friend. 42 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,824 [chuckles] 43 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:31,221 - Ohh, damn, homeboy. 44 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,005 [Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"] 45 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,572 - One, two, three, four! 46 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,835 - ♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪ 47 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:39,969 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 48 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:47,194 ♪ 49 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,502 - So you guys watch "Wyoming" last night? 50 00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,939 - Mm-hmm. - Best show ever. 51 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,159 - When the rancher tells Father Tran that Sister Agnes 52 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,769 is missing, I'm like... 53 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,207 - I know. It's, like, who kidnaps a nun? 54 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,773 - I have a theory about that. 55 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,514 What is the whole show is an erotic nightmare that the 56 00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,255 - Guys, guys, guys, guys. - Security guard is having? 57 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,257 - No "Wyoming" spoilers, please. 58 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,172 - Ralph, how behind are you? 59 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,609 - My wife won't let me watch it, 60 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:14,786 says it gets me too riled up, and I yelp and gasp too much. 61 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,571 - Well, that's how you know it's good. 62 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,442 As I said, the whole time I'm watching, I'm like... 63 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,879 [gasps] No, him? 64 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,620 - Okay, fine. Maybe I'll sneak watch it 65 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,405 when she goes and visits her mom this summer, 66 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:27,886 but for now, can we just change the subject, please? 67 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,150 - Remember when Sister Agnes coughed up those snakes... 68 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,977 - ♪ La-la-la-la 69 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,718 ♪ La-la-la-la 70 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,633 ♪ La-la-la-la - My theory... 71 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:38,375 - ♪ La-la-la [together] Ralph. 72 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:40,812 - God. 73 00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,510 - Was he about to do the whole song? 74 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,209 - "Well, if he doesn't appreciate you, 75 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,037 then that's his loss." 76 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,213 Shoulder shrug emoji. 77 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:54,304 - Hey, Jack, can I ask you something? 78 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,827 - I am all ears. 79 00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,655 - Well, there's this show, "Wyoming," 80 00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:01,398 that I want to watch, but my wife has asked me not to, 81 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,574 which is pretty lame, right? 82 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,320 - Yeah. - I know, right? 83 00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,888 You know, but I can't just go, "Hey, Brenda, 84 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,281 "I don't care what you say. 85 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,326 I'm gonna watch whatever I want." 86 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,201 Whew. 87 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,637 - Why not? 88 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,814 - Why not? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 89 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,424 Yeah, I'm gonna do this. 90 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,513 I'm gonna do this. Okay, it's a big day. 91 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,385 It's a big, big day, Jack. 92 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,909 Yes! Thank you, Jack. 93 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,389 Yes! 94 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,956 - Okay. 95 00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,613 What's all this creepy smiling you're doing? 96 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,224 And why aren't you guys Googling? 97 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,226 - We did the math, and it would take us eight months 98 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,879 to alter the Google search algorithm. 99 00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,317 - And frankly, that dog don't hunt. 100 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,883 - Well, then that dog gets put down. 101 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,711 - Did you just threaten to kill us? 102 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,800 - No, I just--I got caught up in the metaphor. 103 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:58,325 - We do have an idea for a different mission, 104 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:01,589 one that combines revenge and learning. 105 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:04,722 - If we got ahold of some of Miles' DNA, 106 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,072 we could frame him for a crime and ruin his life. 107 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,423 - We'd also learn a tiny bit of biology along the way. 108 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:13,035 - But the important thing is, we'd destroy Miles' ass. 109 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,993 We'd destroy his ass, man. 110 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,778 - Hmm. 111 00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:19,476 I'm a little worried about the whole "learn biology" part, 112 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,697 but I am intrigued by the ass destruction. 113 00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:26,004 Okay, fine, you guys can do the DNA mission. 114 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,094 [bell rings] 115 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,749 Hey, guys, if I send Meredith two Apple emojis 116 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:34,491 next to each other, is it clear that I'm referring to her butt? 117 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,319 - It's definitely sexual. 118 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,364 You know, make it all applesaucy. 119 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,017 - Bake it, Daddy. 120 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,280 Okay, bob for cinnamon. 121 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,369 [laughter] 122 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,589 - Can anyone explain why everything 123 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,635 in the nuns' convent is red? 124 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,767 - Ralph, you watched "Wyoming"? 125 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:50,551 - Yes. 126 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,161 [together] Yay. 127 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,598 - I told Brenda, "Look, I know this show riles me up, 128 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,557 "but you're just gonna have to suck it up 129 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,993 and deal with it, baby." 130 00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,386 Just like Jack told me to. 131 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,562 - I told you what now? 132 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,867 - Yesterday in the hall you said, you know, 133 00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,173 "You've got to stand up to your wife." 134 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,783 - You have a wife? 135 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,959 - You know, and I can see why you guys like the show, 136 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,657 you know? It's--it's good. 137 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:13,356 It's a little gross and scary, but it's a good gross, 138 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,751 and it's a fun scary, you know. 139 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,448 Anyway, Brenda kicked me out. 140 00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,756 Yeah, so I--I got to go. 141 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:26,978 I've got to gather up the rest of my stuff, so... 142 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,545 - Jack, what did you do? 143 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,938 - Come on, nobody's gets kicked out of their house 144 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,853 for watching a TV show. That's crazy. 145 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,682 - You meddled in a complicated marriage, and apparently, 146 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,553 it was the straw the broke the camel's back. 147 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,381 - Go talk to Durb immediately. 148 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,556 - What? No. 149 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,557 - Fine, don't. 150 00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,385 - Well, now I'm going to. 151 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,865 See how you can't control me. 152 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,041 - Wow, you got me. 153 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,480 - Oh, Ralph. 154 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,090 [sobbing] 155 00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:56,834 - Ahh. 156 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,314 - We have to be there for that man, 157 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,490 that beautiful, beautiful man. 158 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,492 - All right. - Give me a hug, Jack. 159 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,671 - Hey, you okay? 160 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:11,545 - [sighs] Honestly, I don't know. 161 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:14,025 - Okay, well-- - He's so strong. 162 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,549 Let us be strong for you. 163 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,899 - Here, come on. Let's-- - Do you underst... 164 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,685 - Oh, my God. 165 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:24,296 Come on! 166 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,037 Wow. 167 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,518 Hey, listen, I hope I didn't screw anything up for you, man. 168 00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:32,043 If there's anything I can do to help, you know, it's all good. 169 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,614 [knock at door] 170 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,660 Oh. - Hey-hey. 171 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,401 - Ralph, what are you doing here? 172 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,315 - Well, you said if there was anything you could do to help, 173 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,405 it was "all good," so... 174 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,624 - Pfff, I tell ya, that does not ring a bell. 175 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:51,062 - It's literally probably the most recent 176 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,890 conversation you've had. 177 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,110 Look, Jack, I need a place to stay, 178 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:58,026 but if you can't do it, then it's fine. 179 00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,855 I'll just--I'll just go. 180 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,730 - Oh, good God, Ralph. 181 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,036 Don't be so depressing. 182 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,907 Look, fine. You can crash here. 183 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,301 - I can cr... 184 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,998 - Oh, what was that? 185 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,913 - I tried to click my heels together, 186 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,568 but I was, like, going down even before I went up. 187 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,962 - Oh, you coming in? - Yeah, yeah. 188 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:28,360 . 189 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,667 - Jack, I really, really appreciate this. 190 00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:33,322 - Yeah, well--Ralph, I let you in five minutes ago. 191 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,324 How are you already in full-flannel pajamas? 192 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:36,847 Were you wearing those under your clothes? 193 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,676 - I'm pretty much always ready to hit the sack. 194 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,549 Is it weird if I sit on your couch? 195 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,159 - No, it's not weird to sit on the couch. 196 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,769 You're sleeping on the couch. - Okay. 197 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:49,251 Oh, and is it weird if I put my vitamins on the coffee table? 198 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,166 - You don't have to ask to do normal stuff. 199 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,472 - You're right. I'm sorry. 200 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,995 I'm just--I'm a little out of it. 201 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,779 Guess I'm just missing Brenda, you know? 202 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,389 Oh, her little sneezes, 203 00:07:57,433 --> 00:08:00,392 the way she would print up Facebook to read at night, 204 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,612 the way she would say, "Oh, I'm cold." 205 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,527 She was always, always cold. 206 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,224 - Listen, can we not talk about your wife? 207 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,226 I'm navigating this sexually charged friendship 208 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,576 with my ex, Meredith. 209 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,274 Need to maintain a playful, erotic mental state 210 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,058 in order to transition from the friend zone 211 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,844 to the sex...zone. 212 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,236 - You know, I totally get it. 213 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,412 I--I should be turning in myself. 214 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,414 So how do you want to do good nights? 215 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,547 I mean, a handshake feels so formal. 216 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,637 I could be talked into a hug, but I'm not married to it. 217 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,118 Although, really, 218 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,424 I'm not married to much of anything anymore. 219 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:35,471 I mean, do--do you want to, like, high-five or... 220 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,955 Okay, good night. 221 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,611 [loud thumping] 222 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,269 Here. 223 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:52,488 This way. 224 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,576 Quickly. 225 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,491 Thaddeus told me you would come. 226 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,275 You'll be safe here till morning. 227 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,494 Quick, get under here. 228 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,582 I have bread. 229 00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,193 At dawn, you will run north to freedom. 230 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,586 I need to thanks, sir. 231 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,936 I'm just doing my duty as a good Quaker. 232 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,285 Rub this deer urine on you. 233 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:10,854 It'll throw off the hounds. 234 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:14,554 - [groans] 235 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:18,558 - Uh, Jack, um... [clears throat] 236 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:19,689 I have a confession. 237 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,953 I, uh, I peed last night. 238 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,607 - Oh, God. Where? 239 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,609 - Oh, in the toilet, but I wasn't sure if you had an issue 240 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,045 with it or not. 241 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:30,439 If you do, I'll go outside when it's dark. 242 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:32,963 How are things going with Meredith? 243 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,182 - Bad. 244 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,662 It's kind of hard to sleep with you 245 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,098 shouting weird stuff all night. 246 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,970 - Oh, no. I sleepwalk when I'm stressed. 247 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,624 I--it's--what did I say? 248 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,060 - It sounded like you were working for the... 249 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,496 both: Underground railroad. 250 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,324 - Yeah, that's a recurring dream I have. 251 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,370 I don't know why. - I know why. 252 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,850 - Where did she come from? 253 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:52,156 - He has that dream because this man is a saint. 254 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,290 Every night he risks his life to help people. 255 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,334 Jack, that's a white man. 256 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,640 He could look the other way. 257 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,294 - Okay, I'm sorry. Explain why you're here. 258 00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,687 - Oh, I'm making breakfast. 259 00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,384 Come on. Come look. 260 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,386 [silently] 261 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,521 Hope you boys like bacon and eggs. 262 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,523 [whispers] I'm here because his life is falling apart. 263 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:14,048 Not that Ralph needs any help. 264 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,266 [whispers] He could snap at any minute. 265 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,617 You're doing great, Ralph. 266 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,793 [whispers] I'm gonna take all these knives. 267 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,011 - What? 268 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,491 What are you doing? 269 00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:25,189 - Hey, Jack, I want to do something to thank you. 270 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,278 How about I cook dinner tonight, all right? 271 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,019 Clams Durbin. How does that sound? 272 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,195 - Oh, Clams Durbin. 273 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,197 It's delicious. You've got to try it. 274 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,721 So much dairy in it. 275 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,418 Oh, it's so good. 276 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,941 - Yeah, I don't think so. 277 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,639 - Well, it can be anything. It doesn't have to be clams. 278 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,118 - Oh, it does. It has to be clams. 279 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,293 - That's kind of what I'm thinking. 280 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,686 - I don't want your clams, man. 281 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,645 - Well, okay, I'll do all the grocery shopping. 282 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,690 And I'll restock the liquor cabinet. 283 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:48,691 - Okay, fine. 284 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,258 - Yes. 285 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:54,436 - Oh, it's gonna make you sick, but it's worth it. 286 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,831 - Hey, gang. 287 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,702 Now, where are you guys with this Miles plan, huh? 288 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,270 You guys make any headway? Has he been arrested yet? 289 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,576 - We have been making some great strides. 290 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,971 - So we started talking about planting Miles' DNA at a crime 291 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,017 scene, but then we realized we weren't really positive 292 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,714 what qualifies as a DNA sample. 293 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,282 - You're gonna want blood, semen, hair, and saliva. 294 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:15,544 That's your bread and butter. 295 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,241 - Oh, and feces. 296 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:19,417 - And it's considered such strong evidence that it can 297 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,724 put people away for life. 298 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,639 - I'm liking what I'm hearing, guys. 299 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,119 - Well, buckle up. 300 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,729 Tell him, bro. 301 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,600 - If his DNA's found at a crime scene, 302 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,951 a lab will compare it to a reference sample 303 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,517 checking for any matching alleles. 304 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,258 - And here's where it gets dope. 305 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,260 If the alleles on the chromosome are the same, 306 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,088 they're homozygous. 307 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,960 - As opposed to heterozygous-- 308 00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,091 - No! 309 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,484 [all gasp] 310 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,402 - Oh, I'm such a fool. 311 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,622 Foolish Jack. 312 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:54,278 I wanted so badly to believe that you were good kids. 313 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,758 But you're not. 314 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,762 You're bad kids, aren't you? 315 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:00,807 - We're bad kids. 316 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,983 - Yeah. 317 00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:04,549 You're doing this to learn biology. 318 00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,726 You don't give a damn about destroying my rival. 319 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,031 - We just thought it would help to have 320 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,641 a basic understanding of DNA. 321 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,035 - It's in saliva, and it makes people go to jail. 322 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,645 That's all you need to know. 323 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,256 Now, you've got one day to get somewhere with this 324 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:18,085 or it's back to typing "pedophile" all day. 325 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,651 - No... 326 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,218 My mom made that. 327 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:25,309 . 328 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:28,138 [light music] 329 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,357 ♪ 330 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,793 - Oh, my God. This is wild. 331 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,316 You know what I mean? Brenda never let me 332 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,622 drink in the house. - Uh-huh. 333 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,580 - There's so much new stuff I can try. 334 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:38,018 I could wear a Kangol hat. 335 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,323 - Yeah. 336 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,064 Oh, no way. 337 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,806 Hey, Ralph, why don't you go rustle up 338 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,460 some Clams Durbin after all? 339 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,027 - Yes, you will not regret this. 340 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,856 Each clam is a symphony of taste pulled from 341 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,379 the cleaner parts of Lake Erie. 342 00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,990 - Yeah, go ahead. 343 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,646 Well, hey there, text buddy. 344 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:58,821 - Hey, Jack. 345 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,476 - Oh, cookie dough, frozen tamales, 346 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:02,782 and a gallon of ice cream. 347 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,174 You doing some emotional eating? 348 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,828 - What are you doing? You're doing, like, 349 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,177 a "Leaving Las Vegas" drink yourself to death thing? 350 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,353 - [laughs] I wish. 351 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:12,008 Hey, so how are things with the boyfriend? 352 00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,532 - Ehh, well, so I took your advice. 353 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,404 Thank you, by the way, for letting me vent. 354 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,709 You've really been keeping me sane. 355 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,581 - Oh, well, I'm glad to hear it. 356 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,191 I want to help; I just-- - Hey, roomie. 357 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,150 I figured I would get the saffron first, 358 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:26,762 because you cannot make Clams Durbin without the saffron. 359 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,372 - Right. - Oh, hey, I'm Ralph. 360 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,417 - Meredith. 361 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:30,548 - Meredith. 362 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,246 This is the famous Meredith 363 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,856 that Jack is always talking about. 364 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,118 - No. - Let me tell you something. 365 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:37,817 Jack is the smartest man I've ever met. 366 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,863 He's a true catch. He's a classic lover. 367 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,605 And I know right now he's just a shoulder to cry on, 368 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,476 but oh, boy, he could be so much more. 369 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,130 - Okay. - Right. 370 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:50,220 But technically, I still have a boyfriend, so... 371 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,571 - Yes, she--yeah. 372 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,922 - Um... 373 00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,361 - Yep. 374 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,884 - It was nice to see you, Jack. 375 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,712 - Yeah, good to see you. Bye. - Nice meeting you. 376 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:05,235 - I'll shoot you a text or something. 377 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,410 - Don't drink too much. 378 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,585 [laughter] 379 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,413 - You... - She said--hey, I tried. 380 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:12,112 You know, I'm not--I'm not very good at this. 381 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,722 - No. - Next time, you've got to 382 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,245 speak up, you know. 383 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,248 When I set it up like that, you--boom--you spike it. 384 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:19,423 All right? 385 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,774 Hey, don't be mad. 386 00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:24,080 [loud thumping] 387 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,821 - Here. 388 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,432 Freedom lies this way, I promise you. 389 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,869 Take this quilt. 390 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,958 It is a map to Ontario. 391 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,308 Shh, shh, wait, wait. 392 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,918 I hear more people. 393 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,616 It's more white men. I will distract them 394 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,314 with bird calls. 395 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,534 - [sighs] - Loo-da-loo-da-loo. 396 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,188 [bell rings] 397 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:48,931 The Lady Rams volleyball squad got annihilated last night 398 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:53,718 again, but hey, sometimes you lose for 10 years, 399 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,938 12 if you count the time you dated, 400 00:14:55,982 --> 00:15:00,247 16 if you actually are the girls' volleyball team, 401 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,946 but point is, gals, you never know what's around the corner. 402 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,340 - Hey, Durbin needs to crash with one of you guys. 403 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,298 - Oh, I can't. It's too dangerous. 404 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:11,562 Single Durbin is giving off some weird sex pheromones. 405 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,260 - Yes. - [laughs] 406 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:16,741 Next season, the world is full of possibilities. 407 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,266 You've got to smell every flower. 408 00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:21,921 - Oh, come on. - Get sniffing, kids. 409 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,313 - Look, look, something's got to give, all right? 410 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:24,836 He's all up in my business. I haven't slept. 411 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,360 He almost ruined things with Meredith. 412 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,970 - Tough, Jack. 413 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,189 I don't see him getting back with Brenda any time soon. 414 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,494 - Mm-mm. 415 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,496 - So after Sister Agnes vanished, 416 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:33,758 I noticed the... 417 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:34,803 - Come in. 418 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,327 - Hey, Durbin. 419 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,155 I've got to talk to you, man. - There's my guy. 420 00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:41,810 Hey, how good were those clams last night? 421 00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,594 You know what the best thing about clams is? 422 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:46,684 Leftovers. Whoo. 423 00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,164 Seriously, though, I-- 424 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,774 I feel like this separation is the best thing 425 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:50,819 that's ever happened to me. 426 00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,429 Hangin' with my bro. 427 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,649 I just feel so happy and free. 428 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,042 - Yeah, well, you know what-- 429 00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,000 you know what might make you even happier? 430 00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,046 Getting back together with your precious Debra. 431 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,439 - Brenda, but seriously, as I was saying earlier, 432 00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,354 I just feel like more and more that situation 433 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,008 was not a good thing. 434 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,358 - Yeah, but it was love, Ralph, right? 435 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,707 And you didn't fight for it. 436 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,362 Ralph, you didn't fight for love. 437 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,016 But what if you did? 438 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,976 And what if you did it with the help of a Harvard professor? 439 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,152 - I guess that sounds good. 440 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,849 - I'd like to share a philosophy nugget with you 441 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,024 if I may. 442 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,417 - Yes. Oh, I've been waiting for this. 443 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,854 - Okay, a stoic named Epictetus said, 444 00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:27,899 "If a storm hits your boat, 445 00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:30,728 "sometimes the only option is to drown, 446 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:33,166 "but do so quietly without crying, 447 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:37,039 for what is born must also die." 448 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,041 - Holy cow. That is rough. 449 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,956 - But you get the point, right? 450 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,786 Ralph. - Yes? 451 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,049 - It's time to go home. 452 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:52,185 Ralph, it's time to go home. 453 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:57,364 Ralph, what do you say? 454 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,543 - It's time to go home. 455 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,327 - There it is. 456 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:08,114 My man. [laughs] 457 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:12,422 . 458 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:15,382 - Thank you so much for sitting down and talking to us, Brenda. 459 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,819 The headline here is that Ralph is a good dude, 460 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:21,127 and, well, he wants to apologize. 461 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:24,086 - Yeah, I'm--I'm sorry that I watched that show 462 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,174 that riles me up. 463 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,175 - Yeah, that was bad. 464 00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,829 - [high-pitched sneeze] 465 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,091 - Oh, there's one of those little teeny-tiny sneezes 466 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,484 you were telling me about. 467 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,660 Brenda, Ralph, he-- 468 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,662 he misses you mad, and he wants you back, 469 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,967 so what do you say, huh? 470 00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,710 - It's more than just that show. 471 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,234 - Well, yeah, of course, yeah, sure. 472 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,149 Well, talk to us, you know. What else, you know? 473 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:44,715 I bet it's all fixable. 474 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,979 - Well, he does the blender so loud in the morning. 475 00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,504 - Okay, well, easy fix. No blender till noon. 476 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,114 - And most nights he sleepwalks, 477 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,986 and he's yelling about hiding families, 478 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,510 and I need to sleep in another room. 479 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,121 - Yeah, well, Roger that one big time. 480 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,950 So if Ralph were able to make those changes, 481 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,214 you think you guys could get back together? 482 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,042 - Mm, ow, oh. 483 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,305 Oh, God. I don't know. 484 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,393 My back is killing me. 485 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,873 I--I know this is silly, but 486 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,441 you're sitting on those cushions, and I need them. 487 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,573 - Oh, well, that's--no, that's not silly. 488 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:17,922 I didn't realize I was sitting in your chair. 489 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,141 I'm sorry. You want to switch chairs? 490 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,403 - Well, stop yelling at me. 491 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,057 Why do you want to make me feel bad? 492 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,146 I mean, it's your chair now. 493 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,321 You're the guest. 494 00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,410 I'll just endure the back pain. 495 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,543 - Well, here's a fix. 496 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,197 Why don't I take the cushions off this chair 497 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,807 and put them on that chair? 498 00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:35,288 - No, but then your back will be hurting as much as mine 499 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,072 is hurting, and then I am gonna feel bad 500 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,204 about doing that to you. 501 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,857 I would feel bad about that. 502 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,163 Oh, oh, God. 503 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,904 Oh, my back is hurting so bad. Oh, it's hurting. 504 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,514 Oh. Oh! [high-pitched sneeze] 505 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:45,950 - You've got to leave that woman. 506 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,387 - I know. 507 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,215 - I mean, at first, she was complaining about you, 508 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,825 and I was like, "Whatever," and then she turned it on me, 509 00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,566 and I was like, "Pfff, that's no good." 510 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,698 She's bad news, brother, and if that means you've got to stay 511 00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,831 here a couple more nights, it's all good. 512 00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:59,616 - Mucho mucho appreciated. 513 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,096 God, you and I, we are a-- 514 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,924 we are a couple of pieces of work, huh? 515 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:05,318 - Yeah. Whoa, how so? 516 00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:07,407 - Well, I mean, at least my dysfunctional relationship 517 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,669 was a relationship. 518 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,453 It wasn't this one-way obsession 519 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:14,849 with my high school ex. 520 00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:18,026 That was a massive overstep, wasn't it? 521 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,289 - No. You know what? 522 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,899 I like this color on you, Ralph. 523 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:24,206 I do, and you're not totally wrong about Meredith. 524 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,599 - Hey, no kidding. 525 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,601 Listen, she's got a boyfriend, all right? 526 00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:29,168 You're deluding yourself, bro. 527 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,212 - Okay, now it's too much. 528 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,779 - [laughs] 529 00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,433 - Hey, which one of these pills calms you down? 530 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,261 - All uppers. [laughs] 531 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:36,262 - Oh, no. 532 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,612 Oh, no. 533 00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:52,930 Nope, uh-uh. 534 00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:54,671 Shut it down. Shut it all down right now. 535 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,543 Whatever biology you're studying back there, 536 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:57,631 it's done, okay? 537 00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,285 Back to the Miles missions. 538 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:01,243 - As we said, this is both. 539 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:04,986 - I think you'll be pleased with this. 540 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:07,902 - I got a lock of Miles' hair, boss. 541 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,648 - "And a little child shall lead them." 542 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,258 How'd you do this? 543 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,521 - Remember when you had me send him that catfish message? 544 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:19,914 - Mm-hmm. - It blossomed into a very 545 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,308 complicated online relationship. 546 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,353 - Wow, okay. Well, kudos. 547 00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,877 Now I think it's probably best that you cut off all ties 548 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:29,271 to this 40-year-old man forever. 549 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:32,056 - Oh, it's gonna be much easier after the holidays, chief. 550 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,841 - Looks like I underestimated you guys. 551 00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,017 I mean, hell, if it takes five minutes of biology a day 552 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,888 to destroy my rival, then maybe it's worth it. 553 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:40,587 All right, go ahead and take your seats, yeah. 554 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:44,721 All right, so what's the next step? 555 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,028 - We find a murdered body. 556 00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,508 - What? 557 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,510 Damn it. That's the next step? 558 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:51,902 That is a very hard next step. 559 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:53,861 You luck into a murdered body 560 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,037 presumably before the police have arrived? 561 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,386 That's insane. 562 00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,866 All right, take out your phones and start typing 563 00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:00,998 "Miles Leonard pedophile" into Google. 564 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,565 Luck into a murdered body. 565 00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,219 What are you talking about? 566 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,047 - You want me to throw away the hair? 567 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,309 - [sighs] 568 00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,006 No, why don't you go ahead and keep the hair? 569 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,791 You know, this is Toledo after all. 570 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:11,879 There's probably a dead body somewhere in this room. 571 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:15,099 [upbeat quirky music] 572 00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:16,536 ♪ 573 00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:20,061 [laughs]